Amuck Without a Vision

Inside the Mind:
Thank you all for your comments on my last entry. Those words are more encouraging than you might think. I find it very easy to become ensnared and discouraged by my own seemingly useless position. I am only a brush of paint on an overwhelmingly large painting; how can I tell what the big picture looks like? The only one who knows that would be the one who created the painting in the first place. He is able to see how each individual, tiny stroke adds the needed effect to make the painting complete. And what a wonderful painting it is.

I remember a discussion we had in a college Bible study last summer on the topic of discovering God’s will for your life. One of the points that was made on this topic, related to developing a vision for your future. With a specific vision in your mind (Christ centered of course), many seemingly difficult decisions in life can be made easier by looking at how this decision will affect your vision. Once you have a vision to help clear away the fog, it is much easier to tell whether you are walking in the right direction or not. Sounds fine and dandy, doesn’t it? Much easier said than done. I have met and read about so many people that knew the general direction where God was leading them. It starts from a concern or passion and slowly grows into a vision. My problem is that I have been shaken around so much over the past six months that I don’t know what to think about my passions anymore. I don’t know my place in His kingdom and sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be able to develop a vision. I feel like one of the three blind mice.

Throughout this struggle, I have to constantly remind myself of God’s sovereignty. He cares for the birds of the air and clothes the lilies of the fields – why should I be worrying about my future when I am in my Savior’s arms? He would not let me suffer needlessly. I must trust that I am being mixed up for a reason unbeknownst to me now, but one that will uncover itself in His perfect timing. There are lessons yet to be learned in my life. I am here to glorify Christ – not to get comfortable in the back seat with the cruise control activated.

While a little off topic – yet somewhat related, I recall a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that fits my thoughts exactly right now:

How could I stand here
And watch the sun rise
Follow the mountains
Where they touch the sky
Ponder the vastness
And the depths of the sea
And think for a moment
The point of it all was to make much of me
'Cause I'm just a whisper
And You are the thunder and...

I want to make much of You, Jesus
I want to make much of Your love
I want to live today to give You the praise
That You alone are so worthy of
I want to make much of Your mercy
I want to make much of Your cross
I give You my life
Take it and let it be used
To make much of You

And how can I kneel here
And think of the cross
The thorns and the whip and the nails and the spear
The infinite cost
To purchase my pardon
And bear all my shame
To think I have anything worth boasting in
Except Your name
'Cause I'm a sinner
And You are the Savior and...

I want to make much of You, Jesus
I want to make much of Your love
I want to live today to give You the praise
That You alone are so worthy of
I want to make much of Your mercy
I want to make much of Your cross
I give You my life
Take it and let it be used
To make much of You

Verse of the Week:
Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. – Psalm 40:5