Midnight Stroll and a Satisfied Soul

Inside the Mind:

On Thursday nights, I usually don’t get to the Lisle train station until very late because of my IV Bible study. When I finally do arrive, it is usually dead quiet and very dark because of the lack of street lights. (You don’t realize how loud and distraction-filled life really is until you take the time to be somewhere that’s dead quiet.) I usually walk the long way to my car and spend the time praying and meditating. During my walk last Thursday, I remember just being hit with a sense of overwhelming satisfaction in Christ. It was a tough week, but at that point in time I realized the grace of God that pulled me through the week, the blessings in my life, and a satisfying knowledge that He will pull through for me in the future. I felt that all is well and all will be well. No worries.

As I read Psalm 63 (posted below) today, I remembered that walk and wondered why I couldn’t feel that way all the time. Why is it that when I get back to the grind of school, work, and life in general, all the worries come crashing back down on me? No matter what God seems to do in my life, I just keep on worrying.

I noticed in verse 8, David mentions the word ‘cling’. The word used in the Hebrew means to stick to, stay close, and follow closely. This is most likely my problem. I may hang on every now and then when I’m in trouble or the time is right, but on any typical hour of the day, I am thinking about the fun I’ll have later that day or on the weekend, the food I’ll be eating, or just plain ol’ daydreaming. I’m not really ‘clinging’ to God. I’m not meditating on His word enough throughout the day, I do not rejoice in his protection, and I do not praise Him nearly enough. How can I find satisfaction in His name if I am too busy trying to find satisfaction in this world?

Psalm 63:
1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory.

3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. 4 So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. 5 My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. 6 When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches,

7 For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. 8 My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. 9 But those who seek my life to destroy it, Will go into the depths of the earth. 10 They will be delivered over to the power of the sword; They will be a prey for foxes. 11 But the king will rejoice in God; Everyone who swears by Him will glory, For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped.

Random Confrontations

Inside the Mind:

Well, it has been a while since I posted last. It is an unbelievable relief to get through midterm week. Talk about a stressful week.

Being that conversing with people is one of my glaring weaknesses, that is one of the lessons God has been teaching me this past week. Relating with others who drive me nuts, believe the opposite of everything I believe, and push me out of my comfort zone.

I’m sure many of you know some weird computer geeks – I might even be one of them. I’ve had the chance to get to know several of them in my database class, but one in particular seems to push my button more than not. He’s the type that I could easily give up as a hopeless cause for Christ. Any type of encouragement or homework help I give him, he finds a way to turn it into complaining and whining. During the week, as I thought about him, I started to realize what a whiner and complainer I was as well. Most of my time in prayer was spent whining about my life’s situations and what a terrible week I was having. I also began to realize that the whining in my life as well as the looking down of the whining in other’s lives was starting to grow into a barrier between me and God. The many situations I used to have in talking about Christ were growing few and far between. It reminded me of a passage in C.S. Lewis’ book The Great Divorce. One of the travelers from the dead world was talking to one of the angelic giants – well more like whining and complaining anyway. He(or she, I don’t remember) was rattling off continuously about how mistreated he was and how everything was unfair. Slowly he began to shrink. As he shrunk, his voice continued to get smaller and smaller until finally he disappeared altogether. Compared to Christ’s suffering on the cross for all of our sins, we have nothing to compare with it, no matter what we go through. Rather than complaining about it, we should be learning from it.

In addition, no one should be considered a lost cause for Christ. Even though this person may drive me up the wall sometimes, my mission is still the same. Christ’s love can have an amazing effect on people like this as well. In our InterVarsity Bible Study, we are going through the book of Acts and learning more about Paul. Anytime I think of an impossible person, I think of Paul’s conversion. He went from one of the most feared persecutors, to one of the leading leaders in the body of Christ. What an amazing story! If God can change Paul’s life, than surely He can change anybody’s life. It is not our job to give up on someone.

On Thursday, I had to turn in my rough draft for my English paper. As soon as we got there our teacher told us we can leave after we turned in our papers and anyone that wanted help on their paper could stay and talk with her during the rest of the class period. I had a couple questions and I had nothing else to do for the next hour so I decided to stay. Now you have to understand that my English teacher is an Athiest, pro-choice, pro gay-rights, and opposite of about everything else I believe. Not the person I would typically get into a conversation with. Anyway, we started talking about my paper and then moved on to several other topics and somehow ended up talking about the Bible (I don’t remember how we got there). It turns out she knows more about the Bible than many Christians I have met. We talked for about an hour (nothing really deep or spiritual). I just thought it was so cool that God opened up a door for me to talk about the Bible with someone I least expected to.

On to another subject. Also on Thursday, I stopped into a LIFT large group meeting (another Christian group on campus) after my small group IV Bible study. The room was absolutely packed and I was amazed at the passion that filled the group as we worshipped through song. It was extremely encouraging to see another large group of Christians that attended DePaul. After visiting their large group meeting and talking with several of the student leaders, I was even more convinced of the need for some sort of unity among the groups. If I can be encouraged that much by being with another Christian group, I can only imagine what it would be like for everyone else. We have four Christian groups on campus, but I feel like we are divided. Something to pray about I guess.

I apologize for the disorganized and random thoughts but I’m a little scatter-brained tonight and just typed what came to mind.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect.
– 1 Corinthians 15:10